Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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