If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
