do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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