If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Two words: blizzard sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
