i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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