Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize