you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
