To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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