dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
