Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize