If i come over, it means nothing
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
