Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
