you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
