Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
