Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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