Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
