remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
