how hairy? two words: wookie tits
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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