Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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