Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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