Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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