apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
