why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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