Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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