it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
