I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
