Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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