i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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