Grow some girl-balls and come out already
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What drink are we having for lunch?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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