let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize