We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
