he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
