we have officially lost it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
