Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
