somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
