that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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