Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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