'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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