can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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