I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
