is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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