i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
