so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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