I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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