I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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