so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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