it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
