i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
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For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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