I can tuck mytits in my pants
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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