im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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