I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
