they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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