What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
