but the lizard people decide everything anyway
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
