Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
