If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
