I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Me too!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We are two peas in an std pod
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
