She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
