just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
