Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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