The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
