He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dick very happy bro
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
