Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
