Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
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This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't