Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing

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  (702): i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing http://tfl.nu/wbpb
  Replies (6) Good night (1036) Bad night (1997)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

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  (617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate http://tfl.nu/fqo5
  Replies (32) Good night (8054) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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  (971): :O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out" http://tfl.nu/uf6x
  Replies (30) Good night (986) Bad night (11734)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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  (610): I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate. http://tfl.nu/wg9p
  Replies (11) Good night (1086) Bad night (3645)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (20009) Bad night (1889)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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  (+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s
  Replies (14) Good night (1777) Bad night (3594)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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  (208): I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work http://tfl.nu/ffxc
  Replies (20) Good night (1927) Bad night (3286)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?

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  (562): WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution? http://tfl.nu/1mlt
  Replies (57) Good night (1002) Bad night (2501)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy

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  (541): Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy http://tfl.nu/st7t
  Replies (7) Good night (1598) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers

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  (780): It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/8ucr
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

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  (330): This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs. http://tfl.nu/3hwl
  Replies (5) Good night (2183) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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  (517): I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs http://tfl.nu/fis6
  Replies (9) Good night (2518) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.

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  (919): He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal. http://tfl.nu/fw4t
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.

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  (847): I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week. http://tfl.nu/9vnm
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.

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  (219): Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/cf3f
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (173)

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