Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.

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  (518): I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw. http://tfl.nu/ptpv
  Replies (36) Good night (1365) Bad night (1483)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  i am grossed the fuck out

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  (843): so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy (1-843): i am grossed the fuck out http://tfl.nu/o4kg
  Replies (90) Good night (786) Bad night (6630)
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  (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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  (650): I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese http://tfl.nu/0g2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3172) Bad night (567)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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  (918): Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it http://tfl.nu/0aic
  Replies (29) Good night (3706) Bad night (1550)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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  (702): well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right? http://tfl.nu/0mj4
  Replies (56) Good night (1273) Bad night (13573)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.

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  (908): My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place. http://tfl.nu/pxw5
  Replies (7) Good night (4328) Bad night (679)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass

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  (508): Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass http://tfl.nu/5gce
  Replies (26) Good night (4062) Bad night (1082)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.

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  (647): Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral. http://tfl.nu/3rm8
  Replies (5) Good night (1250) Bad night (3904)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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  (860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys
  Replies (14) Good night (8343) Bad night (922)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.

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  (920): If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it. http://tfl.nu/6xw0
  Replies (15) Good night (1336) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2470) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.

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  (570): Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled. http://tfl.nu/weru
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (378)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"

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  (250): He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too" http://tfl.nu/d99r
  Replies (1) Good night (1375) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me

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  (828): This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me http://tfl.nu/34nr
  Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

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  (613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i
  Replies (6) Good night (999) Bad night (216)

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