Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.