Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

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  (815): I gave up sex with dolphins for you. http://tfl.nu/rt8h
  Replies (10) Good night (1268) Bad night (751)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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  (325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it. http://tfl.nu/ygfd
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (2969)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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  (803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc
  Replies (39) Good night (4094) Bad night (907)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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  (502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g
  Replies (104) Good night (5693) Bad night (3722)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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  (530): He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/h0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (1094) Bad night (15717)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  You are an asshole

  (574): View more from Indiana

  haha sleeping beauty awakes.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Where did you find this costume?

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  (616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai
  Replies (32) Good night (12456) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'

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  (309): We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.' http://tfl.nu/2fkm
  Replies (17) Good night (9489) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number

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  (224): he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number http://tfl.nu/3iey
  Replies (23) Good night (934) Bad night (5885)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

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  (310): He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/jh5k
  Replies (17) Good night (749) Bad night (3590)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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  (773): Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/vvjh
  Replies (11) Good night (1458) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week

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  (724): I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week http://tfl.nu/5fel
  Replies (15) Good night (2007) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.

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  (610): We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body. http://tfl.nu/0qa6
  Replies (4) Good night (1047) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.

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  (574): well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test. http://tfl.nu/4a57
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

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  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (7) Good night (520) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.

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  (607): It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work. http://tfl.nu/ndnm
  Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (315)

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