One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."