Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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  (469): Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick http://tfl.nu/zqfp
  Replies (34) Good night (1438) Bad night (5669)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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  (586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx
  Replies (18) Good night (926) Bad night (5611)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (5121)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism

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  (651): Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism http://tfl.nu/8f4x
  Replies (4) Good night (3484) Bad night (1001)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

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  (810): Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/9d1q
  Replies (25) Good night (1944) Bad night (5661)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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  (512): when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table. http://tfl.nu/utxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1569) Bad night (762)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (3049) Bad night (790)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.

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  (603): nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment. http://tfl.nu/rfmt
  Replies (4) Good night (2354) Bad night (1097)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?

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  (613): have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics? http://tfl.nu/lk3z
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (751)
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  (909): View more from California

  This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.

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  (909): This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/sxb3
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (1044)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I love you football head

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  (773): Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head. (1-773): I love you football head http://tfl.nu/y5ut
  Replies (7) Good night (2645) Bad night (740)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.

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  (608): Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening. http://tfl.nu/bdxc
  Replies (7) Good night (1842) Bad night (480)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.

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  (405): So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door. http://tfl.nu/69g0
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (307)
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  (530): View more from California

  I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.

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  (530): I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland. http://tfl.nu/s0xd
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (281)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket

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  (917): Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket http://tfl.nu/kk5i
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (243)

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