Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

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(219): shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs http://tfl.nu/nfdh

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(616): View more from Michigan

Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.

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(616): Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning. http://tfl.nu/mwtc

Replies (22) Good night (4443) Bad night (1452)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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(215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh

Replies (124) Good night (41497) Bad night (2963)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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(859): The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you? http://tfl.nu/o13h

Replies (8) Good night (3707) Bad night (849)
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(954): View more from Florida

Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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(954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18

Replies (25) Good night (4988) Bad night (1246)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying

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(304): Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying http://tfl.nu/2vcq

Replies (12) Good night (3177) Bad night (997)
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(817): View more from Texas

But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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(817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w

Replies (10) Good night (2581) Bad night (755)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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(732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr

Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (2068)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Can we agree to not tell mom about this?

(303): View more from Colorado

This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.

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(720): Can we agree to not tell mom about this? (303): This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you. http://tfl.nu/ipdw

Replies (1) Good night (1681) Bad night (574)
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(530): View more from California

My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

(916): View more from California

That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

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(530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7

Replies (1) Good night (2130) Bad night (570)
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(740): View more from Ohio

She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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(740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk

Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (765)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp

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(608): there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp http://tfl.nu/655k

Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (648)
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(720): View more from Colorado

What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...

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(720): What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book... http://tfl.nu/q46p

Replies (5) Good night (1241) Bad night (338)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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(717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x

Replies (0) Good night (701) Bad night (363)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.

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(763): There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying. http://tfl.nu/1hl2

Replies (6) Good night (324) Bad night (764)

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