ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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