Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
