I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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