The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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